Revealing My Heart
by Jules.btvsfan
Summary: [COMPLETED] Spuffy Valentine’s Day fic! Set in season six. Buffy and Spike get to spend V-Day together when Dawn "accidentally" places a spell that reveals hearts. Fluffy Spuffiness ensued…
1. Just A Little Spell

Title: Revealing My Heart

Author: Julesters aka me :)

Rating: PG to PG13ish

Summary: Spuffy Valentine's Day fic! Set in season six. Spike and Buffy get to spend Valentine's Day together. Fluffy Spuffiness ensued…

Notes: Takes place somewhere before As You Were.

Disclaimer: Joss is a genius… I do not own anything… duh… or else I would not be here. :)

* * *

**Chapter One  
Just A Little Spell...**

"No," Buffy said firmly, pushing Spike's hand away.

The vampire pouted. "Why not?"

"Dawn."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Slayer, that excuse isn't going to work anymore. Besides, the nibblet's a big girl. She can take care of herself." Spike leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away.

Buffy sighed. "Spike, we can't."

"Bloody hell, Buffy. Why won't you let yourself be happy for once?"

This time Buffy was the one to roll her eyes. "Will you _so_ get over yourself? You don't make me happy. You're just…" but Buffy couldn't bring herself to say the word "convenient". It hurt herself to think that she was just using Spike, when he cared about her so much.

"What? Incredibly sexy?" Spike finished for her, giving her a devious grin.

Before she could catch herself, a giggle escaped from her lips and she smiled.

Spike gently traced the side of her face with his thumb. "You should do that more often," he whispered, kissing her gently on the forehead.

"What?"

"Be happy."

Buffy couldn't help feeling a sharp pain inside. He was right. But it was just so hard. It was so _hard_ to try to live again, try to be happy. No one could ever understand how she felt. No one could feel the pain, the anger and frustration she felt every second she was breathing.

And then Spike would take her away. And everything would be all right.

_For a little while_.

Buffy hadn't even noticed that a tear had fallen down her cheek. Her whole body was trembling, in fear of what she might lose. Her life was already such a mess… what if Spike wasn't there to catch her fall? She had actually become dependent on him. He was her anchor to the ground, he was her security.

"Buffy?"

She sighed and leaned into him, and he wrapped his comforting arms around her body.

"Shh pet, it's all right. I got you," he whispered.

Even a little while helped, right?

* * *

Buffy had actually (though very protestingly) agreed to letting Spike stay in her bed. He was asleep now, but all she could do was stare into the darkness. She pulled Spike's arm closer around her. She felt so content, so free. Spike could make her feel like the world didn't mean anything, and all she had to do was surrender and let go of the aches.

That was an improvement. And she wasn't running away anymore. She wasn't even worried if Dawn came trudging in right that moment. If the world ended right now, at least she would feel some kind of peace. It killed her the way Spike could make her feel this way. Like he was the only one who could make her alive. She let out a small sigh. Finally, she closed her eyes and sleep take over her body.

It felt nice to know that Spike would be there in the morning.

* * *

Buffy yawned and entered the kitchen. Dawn was busy cooking something on the stove. "Hey, watcha making?" Buffy asked.

Dawn grinned sheepishly, while cracking an egg into a saucepan. "Well, uh, after the whole stuck-in-the-house thing, I thought I'd do something to make up for that."

"Like cook breakfast?"

"Yep."

"Dawn, it's Saturday morning. People are usually sleeping in. You don't need to—"

Dawn shook her head. "I want to. Besides… eggs… yum."

"Morning all," announced a voice. Buffy swung around to find herself staring into Spike's smug face. Her eyes widened. Spike gave her a grin and then walked past her. "What are you cooking, Nibblet?" He leaned on the counter.

"Eggs," Dawn replied, struggling with the spatula. "Or at least I think they're eggs." She turned to look at Spike. "When did you get in? I didn't hear you."

Buffy gave him a threatening glare.

"I came early in the morning…" Spike was still giving Buffy evil grins. "See how my Slayer is doing."

"Cool," Dawn replied, not seeming to catch anything he had said. "Oops. I think I burnt them."

"You burnt eggs?" Buffy gave her a disbelieving look. "Dawnie, how do you burn eggs?"

Dawn winced. "I don't know." She slowly turned to face Buffy. "So, how's about some cereal?" she said casually. Suddenly realization came upon her and she opened the refrigerator. "Oh I think we have some blood too."

"We have blood in the fridge?" Buffy wrinkled her nose.

"Yeah," Dawn replied, still rummaging. "Spike brought a whole bunch over. Said he'd be sticking around anyway…"

Buffy immediately swung her head to look at Spike, who had an innocent look on his face.

Dawn pulled out a packet of blood and started pouring into a mug. "So, what are we doing for Valentine's Day?" She placed the mug in the microwave and started heating it.

Buffy had a blank look on her face. "Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah, it's in a couple of weeks."

"Oh. Do we usually do something for that?"

Dawn took out the blood from the microwave and set it in front of Spike, who looked positively delighted. He started drinking, while listening to the sisters' conversation.

"Well I thought we could do something special this year. We can always use more love in this house," Dawn replied, sighing just a little bit.

"What's that mean?"

"Nothing." Dawn hesitated, not wanting to get her sister mad, and then continued anyway. "Well it's just that all this tension between Tara and Willow, and you can _so_ tell Anya and Xander have been more spatty lately. And since you're still single—"

Buffy knew Spike was boring his eyes into her, and she was determined not to look at him.

"— I thought we could I don't know, do something special."

"No thank you," Buffy said, shaking her head. "Valentine's Day not a good day for me. Actually, I don't think I've spent a single Valentine's Day with someone else. First Angel turned bad, and then Riley left. And I hardly have a real relationship with Sp—" she caught herself in time and said quickly "Specially anyone. So, Valentine's Day a no go."

"Oh," Dawn said in a small voice.

"What?" Buffy suddenly had the feeling her sister had done something very bad. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly.

Buffy gave her a look.

"Well," Dawn started. "I kind of um, well Anya kind of found this book about love spells and other stuff like that…"

"You're putting love spells on us?"

"No!! I um… Well Anya and I were looking through this book and we found this fun spell. And Anya decided to do it… and um… Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya, you, me, and Spike are kind of going to be in this house on February the 14th, and we're stuck here until our hearts are revealed."

"WHAT?!?"

Dawn felt like her sister was about to slay her.

"Okay, why on earth would you do something like that? And why is Spike coming?"

"Oh come on, he's practically part of the gang."

"He is NOT part of the gang. He's an evil, soulless, demon who'd bite us all in a heartbeat if he didn't have that chip shoved up is brain!"

"Hey!" Spike suddenly yelled. "Standing right here."

Buffy ignored him.

"Buffy, it's just a little fun. I mean it's not like we're hiding any serious secrets," Dawn said in a reasonable voice. "It'll just uncover a little truth. That's all."

Buffy tried to smile. Inside she was screaming, _crap, crap, crap!!_ Everyone was going to find out about her and Spike. No wait… revealed hearts… well it wasn't as if they were revealing their brains. She didn't really _love_ Spike. He wasn't in her heart. So… she could probably slide through the spell. And what did this mean anyway? They were forced to say what they were feeling or else they were stuck in the house? Stuck in the house _again_? Oh Dawnie you are in such trouble…

* * *

You like?? Please review!! Yeah it's a little early for Valentine's Day... hehe... but if you all like this, I'll write lots more :) 


	2. Safest Place

**Chapter Two  
Safest Place**

The rest of the Scooby gang had reacted pretty much the same way Buffy had to Dawn's news. Except Anya. She was thrilled. Well she should be. She was the one who cast the spell, after all. Buffy almost wanted to strangle Anya as much as Dawn.

On the other hand, maybe this spell was a good thing. Tara and Willow were so close to getting back together, maybe the spell would make them realize that they were meant to be. And as for Xander and Anya, whatever was nagging them, maybe it would be best to let that out. It wouldn't be good to get married without being completely honest. As for Buffy… whenever her mind came to Valentine's Day, she'd get a doomed feeling in the pit of her stomach. She still didn't even understand what this spell meant. Would they be _forced_ into telling their true feelings? Or were they just going to be stuck in the house all night until they decided to tell? Even apocalypses weren't this horrifying. Or this confusing.

Okay, maybe she was making too big of a deal out of this. It wasn't that bad. It was just a spell. And spells… well spells always turned out disastrous in the past. Look at that spell that almost got her and Spike married…

"Buffy? Earth to Buffy…"

Buffy snapped back to attention. She looked into Dawn's concerned face.

"Are you okay?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah. Just peachy."

Dawn sighed. "You're still mad about that spell, aren't you?"

"No," Buffy lied.

"I'm really sorry."

"I know." Buffy placed an arm around her sister and hugged her close. "Look, it's fine. We'll deal with it… and every spell has a counterspell, right? If things get too horrible, we'll fix them. We always fix them."

"Yeah, that's nice. But are we going to go now?"

"Go where? It's Sunday night."

Dawn raised her eyebrows. "The Bronze. You promised I could go."

"I did?"

"Yeah…"

Buffy sighed. "Okay. But you better be back by eleven. And I mean it. Not a second too late."

"I promise. You can feed me to the vampires if I get here at 11:01." Dawn jumped up and down enthusiastically. She kissed Buffy on the cheek and then ran out the door. "Bye!!" she yelled.

Buffy smiled weakly after her.

"Bit gone?"

The voice startled her, and she jumped up from the couch. "Spike!" she hissed. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked angrily as he moved closer to her.

"Getting my nightly share of the Slayer," he whispered, playing with her hair.

Buffy sighed, trying to ignore the fact that he was seriously turning her on. Her heart was almost singing out for him."Spike, not right now," she managed to say as he continued touching her in places that made her feel weak in the knees.

"Oh come on, Slayer. Don't fight it," he continued speaking to her in a low voice.

"Stop it," Buffy whispered, but she couldn't hide the vulnerability in her voice. And she couldn't deny that her body was longing for his cool touch… all she wanted was him to kiss her breathless. But there was no way she'd ever tell Spike that to his face. Every time he made her feel this way, she would surrender and give in. "Don't," she tried again.

"You don't mean that do you?" he asked, his cool breath against her neck. She could feel his lips touch her hot skin.

"No," she immediately replied before she could catch herself. "I mean yes. Spike, please. I can't..." Buffy closed her eyes and tried to pull away from him, but her body wasn't allowing her to. _Please don't…_ she said silently.

Finally she gave in and let him kiss her sweetly on the lips. His mouth felt cool on hers, and his body molded against hers perfectly. She let him trace his kisses down her neck. Her back was bending slightly back, and she gasped when he ran his cool hands on the skin showing above her jeans.

"Spike..."

"Should we take this to the bed, love? But then again… maybe we might not make it that far."

The bad voice in Buffy was screaming, _you know you want to…_ It would be nice. The way Spike could make her feel, it was always beyond nice. _No… I can't_, the other voice in her head yelled back.

"Stop that," she said in a breathy voice. "Someone's going to see."

"No one's here, pet. Just you and me."

"But..." Buffy protested.

Spike smirked. "Can't think of an excuse, can you Slayer?" He traced his fingers down an arm, and Buffy sighed with content."Alone… with no interruptions."

Just then the phone started ringing. The tension between the two of them gradually melted away. Buffy gave him a look and then went to the kitchen to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Buffy? Oh God you have to come." It was Dawn, sounding very helpless.

"Dawn, what's wrong?"

"There's this pack of vampires looking ready to party at the Bronze. I just got here and there were all these vampires... Buffy please you have to come."

Part of Buffy felt relieved. Now she had an excuse to get away from Spike and his attempts (which were working very well) at trying to get her to sleep with him. The other part of her was extremely disappointed that she wouldn't be able to have a_ nice, alone moment with Spike_. "Shut up!!" Buffy screamed out loud.

"Huh?"

"Sorry Dawn. I'll be right there. Are you safe?"

"Yeah I'm good. I just—" Suddenly the phone cut off and moments later all Buffy heard was a dial tone.

"Dawn? Dawn!" Buffy put the phone back on the receiver and rushed to get her jacket.

Spike followed her. "What's wrong?"

"Dawn's in trouble. You coming?"

He nodded and followed her out.

* * *

Twenty piles of dust later, Buffy sat down exhausted on the living room couch. The rest of the Scoobies, Spike, and Dawn were there as well, looking tired out. 

"That… was not fun," Xander commented, still breathing very hard.

"Yeah, well vamps always get buzzed around Valentine's Day," Spike said. He sat down next to Buffy, who was resisting the urge to smack him in the head.

"Speaking of…" Xander shifted his gaze at Anya. "Exactly why are we all stuck in a house on that day?"

Anya shrugged. "Don't look at me! It was her idea," she pointed at Dawn. "She's an unintelligent, fifteen-year old girl. What did you expect? Besides, I think it's a good idea. It gives me excitement feelings especially in my lower area when I start thinking about it—"

"Whoa," Willow interrupted. "Let's not go there."

Anya ignored her and linked her arm with Xander's. "Besides… this is the only Valentine's Day we'll spent as an engaged couple…"

"Still," Xander said. "I want to know what exactly is going on."

"Yeah Dawn," Willow added. "What the frilly heck were you thinking?"

Dawn looked incredibly uncomfortable, embarrassed, guilty, and frustrated at the same time. "Come on, it's just a freakin' spell! Would everyone stop blaming me for everything?"

"No blaming," Tara spoke up. "It's okay, Dawn. Besides," she said to the rest of them. "I know about these spells. They really aren't that b-big of a deal anyway. If anything, they're actually one thing in the black arts that you can play around with."

"Yeah well I for one want some truth around here," Spike said, inching closer to Buffy.

"You," Xander put a lot of emphasis on that word. "Are not in any way whatsoever friends with us. And if you go all stalker-crazy, well, we all know Buffy's going to kill you. Face it, Spike. You'll never ever have a chance with her. Unless she was a complete, idiotic loser—"

"So," Buffy interrupted. "It's pretty late, and I think we should be getting home. Bye guys. You know your way out." Before they could see the tears forming in her eyes, she headed on upstairs.

She collapsed on her bed and let her tears fall on the pillow. She didn't know if she could handle this anymore. It was too much. The pain of hiding from her friends, the guilt of doing something she knew was horribly wrong. And it wasn't wrong. How could something be so wrong when it felt right? They would never understand. How hard it was to even feel anything in this life.

"Buffy?"

His voice was so tender, so loving. She felt a hand rub her back gently.

"Please don't," she whimpered.

"If you're upset about what that ponce said, don't waste your breath on him. He's—"

"He's my friend, Spike." Buffy sighed and sat up to face her vampire lover. "Please just don't say anything, okay? I can't take it anymore."

A slightly angry expression appeared on Spike's face. "Fine. If you want me to leave—"

"I don't," she said gently. She ran her hand through his hair and pulled him closer to her. "Could you just stay with me tonight?" she asked him softly.

Surprised that she was asking him to stay, Spike just whispered, "Of course," and he took her in his arms.

And if only time could stop right now, Buffy thought to herself. Things would be perfect.

* * *

Wow thank so muchfor the reviews!! I just had to post another chappy. I hope you like it!! It was kind of a transition chapter. Anyway... feedback would be nice :) I promise you there is much more Spuffiness to come. Hehe. 


	3. Getting Decoratey

**Chapter Three  
****Getting Decoratey**

"Did you get the paper hearts?" Dawn asked Spike eagerly as he walked into the Summers' house.

He set down a box on the ground with a thud. "Hearts and more," he replied in a dull tone. "This is nancy-boy crap. I can't believe I put up to this."

Dawn squealed and knelt down to take out the items in the box. Just then Buffy entered the room, feeling happy to be alone just with her sister for once. These last few days had been completely hectic and...she immediately stopped in her steps when she saw Spike there and a horrified look fell on her face. She mouthed the words, "What the hell are you doing here, Spike? Get out!" Spike gave her a guiltless grin.

"Dawn, what is Spike doing here?"

"He picked up decorations. Oh this is _beautiful_, Spike!" Dawn suddenly exclaimed, holding up rolls of red and pink ribbons. Some were lacy and others were patterned with hearts. "Oh this is going to be _soo_ fun!" She looked up at Spike with admiring eyes. "Wow you have really good taste. I mean for a vampire who's supposed to be some sort of badass. You've got really good taste!"

"You speak one word of it and I will rip your head clear off your body," Spike said angrily.

"Do you want to get dusty?" Buffy said, placing her hands on her hips. "No threats or else I swear I—"

"Will stake me good and proper," Spike finished for her. "Yeah, I got you Slayer. You know for someone who tells me not to make threats, you sure make a number of them."

Dawn stood up, holding a bunch of Valentine's Day decorations in her arms. "I say we get decoratey."

"Where did you get all of that?" Buffy asked suddenly.

"I uh…" Spike started slowly, not wanting to get on Buffy's bad side. Not that he was ever on Buffy's good side. Well except for those nights when they actually shared something intimate. Which wasn't too often. "I bought it with money I painstakingly earned bit by bit," he lied. Maybe if he were nice he might actually get some tonight, he thought.

Buffy raised her eyebrows.

Spike sighed. "Okay, I nicked it. What's it to you?"

"You stole this??"

"Yeah, Buff. It's what vampires do. Besides, couldn't let the Bit down."

"It's okay," Dawn spoke up. "I went back and gave the store money. Explained that my crazy friend was having some fun."

"Uh huh," Buffy said in a disbelieving voice.

_Ring… Ring…_ The doorbell rang. Dawn rushed to open the door, and in came the Scooby gang. Each person was carrying some form of V-day decoration.

"Okay Dawn, what is going on?" Buffy demanded. "I thought we were going to be alone tonight."

"Oh I invited the gang over to do some decorating. That's okay, right?"

"It's a school night!" Buffy protested. She thought Dawn would've learned her lesson after what happened on her birthday and what was going to happen on Valentine's Day. But no… her sister was still doing things behind her back.

Dawn was putting a chair beside the door so she could hang up streamers. "Yeah. So?"

"You should be going to bed soon. Not decorating for doomsday."

Dawn turned around and crossed her arms. "Buffy,come on.Lighten up! Valentine's Day is the day of love and melding hearts. Or possibly breaking them…" Dawn had a thoughtful look on her face. "But," she continued. "Anyway Valentine's Day is going to be special this year. And our house looks like crap." With that she turned back to decorating.

Tired and unwilling to fight back, Buffy gave in and started helping.

* * *

"No way!!" Buffy exclaimed, pointing to the front door. Spike had taped huge black paper hearts all over it. "We are not having black hearts on Valentine's Day."

"Why not? I like black hearts!"

"But on Valentine's Day?" Buffy protested. "That's go to be the worst idea ever."

"Bollocks, Slayer. You wouldn't know good taste if it smacked you in that uptight ass of yours."

She glared at him. "Whatever. We are so not putting black hearts on the front door! It'll scare everyone off."

"That spell's already scared everyone off," Willow joked while she and Tara hung up V-day ornaments in the window.

"Spell? What spell?" Spike asked.

Buffy sighed. "Let's not talk about it right now. I'm sure you won't be fascinated." She started walking away from him but he followed her all the way into the kitchen. She walked around behind the counter, pouring a couple of water for herself.

Spike placed his hands no the counter. "What spell?" he asked curiously. "Like a love spell?" There was a definite gleam in his blue eyes.

Buffy took a big gulp of ice water. "No! Just some… stuck in the house until our hearts are revealed type spell," Buffy mumbled the last bit.

Spike was definitely fascinated.

But before he could say anything else, Buffy went back to the living room.

"You know," Xander was saying while taping the top of the living room walls with small paper heart chains. "A Slayer and a vampire can be pretty handy. I mean they can go hours working without getting tired! Think of all the stamina, how long they can keep at something."

"Oh yeah," Anya added. She was looking up at Xander. "Think of the great sex!"

Buffy could feel her face burning red. "Yeah well," she said loudly, giving Spike death glares. "Not like that would ever happen. Again, I mean. There was Angel but at least he has a soul. I would… I would _never_ ever do that again. You can count on it, mister!" she laughed nervously.

"Liar," Spike mouthed to her. She kicked him in the shins. "Ow! Bloody hell!"

"Course not, Buff." Xander taped the remaining pieces of hearts on the wall. "You'd have to be a loony to do that."

Buffy plastered a fake smile on her face. "Right."

Tara glanced at Buffy, seeing the uncomfortable expression on her face and she suddenly spoke up, "Come on we've got lots m-more decorating to do. Xander, why don't you do the dining room?"

Xander shrugged, and he and Anya went off.

"Thank you," Buffy said in an almost inaudible to Tara, who smiled back. She was so relieved that someone actually knew about Spike and her and wasn't completely freaking out. It was nice to have someone know. It lessened the burden of having to hide.

Buffy sighed and starting hanging ribbon around the staircase when she could feel someone approach her from behind. A cold, vampirey, evil, male someone. Ughh she so did not want to deal with Spike right now. He was really started to piss her off. Or maybe it was because she wanted him so bad, and she knew her friends wouldn't accept the things she'd been doing. And that was making her feel furious inside.

"Want to slip away for a moment, love?" he whispered to her.

She swirled around and threw him a threatening look. "No way. Uh-uh. A world of no thank you," she replied.

"They won't hear a thing. We'll be quiet…" he gave her an insinuative smile. "Well… it's kind of hard to be quiet, huh pet?"

"Shut up." Buffy was burning red again.

"Make me."

"I hate you!"

"Maybe," Spike said softly, gently combing his fingers through her silky blonde hair. "But you like the things I do to you."

A blazing guilt was rising in her heart. It wasn't as if she wanted to use Spike the way she'd been using him. Just thinking about how she was treated Spike so horribly, that she was using him to _feel_, it made her feel like the crappiest person in the world. Spike had done so much for her. He took care of her sister all summer, and he fought on her side so many times. Yet here she was, treating him like dirt. When she knew that he loved her with every drop of passion inside of him. And she felt something too, right?

_Not love_.

Even the side of her that tried to reason he was only a vampire, an evil dead but hot one at that, still couldn't surpass her guilt. Vampires were evil. They weren't meant to make you feel all guilty inside. But even vampires didn't deserve to be thrown aroundand used like a toy.And thiswas _Spike_. She'd known him for forever, even though he used to want to kill her (which why couldn't they go back to times like those?) Things used to be so much easier before she died. Well before the second time she died anyway.

"Hey what are you two doing over there?" yelled an obnoxious Xander, who had just come back from the dining room.

Buffy immediately spun around. "Huh? Oh me and Spike? Nothing. We were talking battle tactics."

"Yeah," Spike added loudly. "Like what happens when a vampire bangs you—"

"On the head!!" Buffy yelled. "Like if he hit you on the head."

"Or other places," Spike said, smirking.

"Like on the arm," Buffy tried to say casually. "Or leg. Vampires always go for the legs."

"Actually love, we tend to go for the necks."

"Yep, then there are the necks. If you haven't got chips in your brains, you usually go for the necks," she said, throwing Spike a hotly angry look. If looks could stake, he would definitely be dust by now.

Willow, Dawn, Anya, and Xander were all now staring at the two of them with weird looks. Tara had a sympathetic, somewhat pitying expression on her face.

Dawn giggled. "You two are so weird. I mean you would make the perfect couple but that is so out of the question—"

"Definitely out of the question. Spike's a vampire, Dawnie!" Xander remarked. "An evil, stupid one that we can't stand to be around. Why is he still alive anyway? We should've staked him a long time ago."

As everyone started getting back to work, Buffy turned away from Spike, refraining from smacking (very very hard) him in the head. There was no way she'd be able to handle being around him anymore. Their secret was going to slip out sooner or later. Hopefully later. Much later. Like later as in _never_.

But who knew what her heart was feeling? There were so many tangles, tears, rips, confusions, emotions in it. Mostly Buffy was afraid that she was lying to herself and that she really did feel something real for Spike. What if that was true, and all that was exposed on Valentine's Day?

Buffy decided that Valentine's Day was indeed the worst holiday ever.

* * *

Yay another update!! Aww I love Xander to death but he is kind of judgmental sometimes...

Anyway. Review please!! I love you all! Y'all rock.


	4. Edging Near Truth

**Chapter Four  
****Edging Near Truth**

She didn't know how, but she had ended waking up in Spike's crypt again.

Well, okay. She knew _how_. She'd slept with him. Again. No matter what her logic told her, no matter what her warnings her brain was signaling to her, her body wouldn't stop screaming out for him. For him to take her out of this pain and give her the feeling that she was _alive._ For him to take her into his arms and stroke her hair in a way that made her feel safe and loved. For him to _love_ her.

Buffy sat up and ran a hand through her blonde hair. She sighed softly and turned her head to look at Spike, who was still sleeping peacefully. She couldn't help let a smile escape from her lips. In a way he was her lover. And in a way he was just this vampire she threw around like a punching bag.

Ugh. There was that painful stab of guilt again.

Once the guilt came, this was usually when (if he was awake) she threw a punch at him and ran out. But he was still sleeping, and she couldn't resist just gazing at him. Even though what they had was not pretty, they still shared something intimate.

"Not gone yet, love?" his voice startled her. She would've stood up, but first of all she wasn't really wearing anything. Second of all, his hand had reached over and landed a tight grip around her wrist.

"Umm… no. I was just contemplating if um…"

"You should leave, or stay with sexy me?"

Buffy blushed. "No. You've got it all wrong. And only you think you're sexy."

Spike let go of her and shrugged, sitting up against the back of the bed. "Even if I do, you still want me, sweetheart. And it doesn't matter, pet. Still nighttime. Long way to go until sunrise. Hours maybe. You could stay," he said in a suggestive tone. "Or you could go home to your wankers and continue being bloody miserable."

He had a point. Sort of.

Buffy sighed and started getting dressed. "I can't, Spike. You know that. I've already been too distant with Dawn."

"It's midnight. I'm sure the Bit's fine. And if she's up, she probably thinks you're out patrolling."

Her eyes widened. "Dawn can't be up right now!"

Spike laid a cool hand on her bare shoulder and immediately all her nerves settled down. How did he do that?

"Relax, Slayer."

He didn't have to tell her that. Her entire body was completely relaxed at his touch. And it felt unbelievably comforting.

"Want to take a walk?" Buffy asked, a way of her saying "I give in".

* * *

You could tell by the streets of Sunnydale that love was in the air, and that Valentine's Day was only a couple days away. Stores and shops were decorated with red roses and pink hearts. Even so late at night, couples were taking strolls and smiling at one another as if deep in love. Everything seemed so peaceful and quiet. There weren't even any monsters disturbing the serenity. Maybe the beasts of the Hellmouth were having their own times in love.

And for the first time in a very long time, Buffy felt like a real girl in love. Okay, that was a lie. But being with Spike felt nice. And for once they weren't doing anything violent. They were just walking together, as if they were actually together.

"I can't believe Sunnydale is actually all decorated for Valentine's Day," Buffy laughed. "It's the last place on earth where you'd be able to find true love," she whispered inaudibly.

Spike, of course, heard it though with his vampire senses. "Not so sure of that, love. I've been in love twice."

She snorted. "Love? Yeah, okay. You were with a psycho insane-o vampire. And you didn't love. You couldn't know love."

"Bollocks. Vampires very well know how to love."

"Whatever."

"Don't you mess with me, Slayer. I'll bite you."

"I'd like to see you try." Buffy stuck her tongue out at him. Not being able to stop himself, Spike immediately grabbed her and kissed her breathless on the mouth. And they shared a hungry kiss filled with such intensity and craving that neither of them could get enough. As the cool midnight breeze blew around them, and as the crisp night air provided them calmness, the two lovers continued locking their lips in an eternal kiss.

Of course, lack of breath had to ruin it all. "Spike?" she whispered to him, but not looking up at his face. Because if she did, she would have to face this reality, and that she was feeling something for him.

"Yeah?"

"Don't you find this weird?"

"Well, yeah Slayer. You and me doing the couple thing. I'm surprised you haven't kicked me in the balls yet and run off with some idiot excuse."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "First off, I don't kick you in the 'balls'. Second… we are NOT in any shape or form a couple."

"Romantic stroll at night… couple stuff to me."

She sighed. "Spike, please. Can we not?"

He turned to look down at his beloved Slayer. Seeing the tired expression on her face, and longing to do anything to make her stay at his side, he changed the subject. "So what exactly is this Valentine's Day spell?" He raised his eyebrows. "Anything interesting I should know about? You still haven't filled me in on the detailed bits."

"There are no detailed bits!" Buffy exclaimed.

"You know. The juice. The goodies."

"The juice? Goodies? When the hell did you start talking so weird?"

"Come on, Buff…"

Buffy let out another sigh. "It's just this spell that Dawn cast. I don't know what it is. Something about being stuck in the house again," she added the "again" part loudly, "until we tell our feelings," she said softly, still not looking at him in the eye.

In a sudden movement, Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and ran his tongue against her lower lip. "Feelings," he growled. "And exactly what kind of naughty feelings are you hiding?"

Buffy felt her heart turning over. Beads of sweat were forming all over her body. She almost trembled at his touch, and she whispered softly, "Feelings…" she managed to get out.

"Of what kind?" he persisted.

_No… no more succumbing._

And as if her brain had suddenly began to function again, she pushed him away. "Feelings that I can't express, Spike. Bottled up feelings that I don't even understand. But they're not real. They will _never_ be real. Because you and I can't… it's not love."

It was silent for a moment, except for the chatter from other happy couples.

"I know that—" Spike started.

"No I don't think you do," Buffy continued, her eyes filling with tears. "You couldn't possibly understand. To you it's love. I know you love me. But I can't… return the favor. And it's eating me up inside the way that I'm—"

_Using you_. She couldn't finish the words. Oh no… this was insane. How was it that Spike could get so much truth out of her?

"I can't," she sighed. "Spike I just… please…" And the tears spilled.

"Shh," he whispered and he wrapped her in his arms.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said softly.

"Don't be."

* * *

Okay I have a lot to say, so please read!

First off, sorry for not updating soo long. I've been working on my website (go see my profile for link)I would really REALLY REALLY appreciate it if you'd view my webby... you won't be disappointed (I hope) there's prettyfanart and all my other fanficcies. So if you would view it and:hint hint: sign the guestbook, I would really really appreciate it! And I might give you a treat for doing so :hint hint: longer chappy... very interesting tidbits in the future chapters to come.

Second, just a brief summary of this chapter... I know I haven't started writing V-day yet... it's because I'm waiting until it's closer to Valentine's Day to start writing. Hehe. I'm still trying to get in some Buffy/Spike relationship stuff. Buffy's still in this hard place right now, and in this chapter I was just showing how their relationship is really complicated. Buffy really wants to spend time with Spike because he makes her feel really good and it's in a way very peaceful. But she's having this hard guilt inside that she's still using him... and she knows she can't love him. (Well that's what she thinks right now. ;):more hinting:)

Thanks! GO VIEW MY WEBSITE! OR ELSE! Haha just kidding. But please? Lols.


	5. Getting Away With It

**Chapter Five  
Getting Away With It**

Buffy woke up on Valentine's Day feeling like the world was about to end. She had never felt so much dread in her heart.

And the feeling lasted all the way until 6:30 p.m. when the doorbell rang. Buffy opened the door to find a smirking Spike staring at her.

She sighed. "What are you doing here?" she said in a demanding yet somewhat softened voice. Spike's presence always managed to make her insides melt. And seeing him now, she was trying to do all but jump into his arms and feel his lips against hers.

"For the party, love. Got any beer?" he said, gently pushing her aside and entering the home.

Buffy had a disgusted look on her face. "Um, no. And the party starts at 7:00."

"So? I can't come early to visit my lovely valentine?" He kissed her on the forehead, and even she couldn't help smiling.

"No," she said playfully. "And I am definitely, positively, completely not your valentine."

"You sure about that?" he murmured in her ear, and gently planted a kiss on her neck.

She blushed, thinking of all the private times she had been spending with the blonde vamp lately. "Shut up," she finally managed to say.She could feel his cool breath tingling against her skin.Forcing herself,she turned away from him. Horrified, she realized that Dawn had just come in,staring at the two of them with wide eyes.

Buffy immediately felt the inside of her panic. "Um Dawn… that wasn't…"

"Oh my God…" Dawn said, still staring at the two of them with a look of disbelief written on her face.

"We weren't… I mean we were just…" Buffy stammered, trying to think of an excuse.

"We don't have any drinks!"

Buffy gaped at her blankly. "Drinks?"

"We totally forgot to buy the drinks. Ughh darn it." Dawn sighed.

After getting over the fact that Dawn actually hadn't caught them with the touchy feeling "almost making out", Buffy straightened herself up and replied, "I think we have some extra soda in the pantry."

Dawn's face brightened up. "Really? Okay. I'll check." And then she disappeared to the kitchen.

Buffy let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Nibblet awfully caught up in this party-throwing, isn't she?"

She tried not to say anything, tried not to make conversation with the one person she was supposed to hate. Even though he was the only thing that could help her forget the pain, he was also the one being hurt from her selfishness. She just couldn't handle that. Even if he was soulless and a demon, he still didn't deserved to be used.

"Pet, what are you so worried about?" Spike asked her, a playful grin on his face. "It's not like the world's going to end if they find about what you've been doing with me…"

"Yes it will," Buffy was back to her light mood. She shrugged and gently tugged at the neck of his shirt. "But I can live with that as long as you're with me," she accidentally let slip out. _Oh God_. _Did I just say that?_

Spike raised his eyebrows and gave her another smile. "You mean that?"

"No! I don't… I didn't mean…" How was Spike having so much effect on her?

He grabbed her by the small of her waist and placed his arms tightly around her shoulders. "You're mine, Buffy," he whispered sharply.

"Not right now," she snapped. "Dawn's going to come back any minute and…"

"And what? Find us doing this?" He smashed his lips violently against hers, so hard that she almost felt her head spin.

The kiss was interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and Buffy quickly pulled away from him and wiped her lips clean. "That didn't happen," she hissed at him, and then she opened the door. Xander and Anya were standing on the porch, holding heart shaped cookies.

"I cooked them myself," Anya said proudly.

"Hey Buff," Xander greeted. His eyes fell on the vampire standing next to her and he frowned. "If he starts trying to kiss you… I swear he'll be particles by the morning."

"Xander," Dawn said warningly, coming from the kitchen wearing oven mitts. "It's V-day. I think we should all try and be nice."

Anya stepped in as well with this happy smile on her face. "Gosh! This is just so exciting! Isn't it exciting, Xander? This reminds me of the time I eviscerated a guy on Valentine's Day for breaking up with his girlfriend." She laughed. Then suddenly a dark look fell on her face. "Oh God. You're going to break up with me, aren't you! You horrible male!"

Xander sighed. "Anya, we're going to get married. Why would I break up with you? I love you, you know that."

"Aww… I love you too, honey bottom."

"Honey bottom?" Buffy remarked.

"If ever a poofter there was…" Spike muttered.

"Oh crap!" Dawn exclaimed. "I think the chicken's burning."

"Oh I'll help you with that," Anya said immediately. "Xander says I'm a really good cook."

"I'm sure you are," Dawn muttered, heading towards the kitchen. Xander and Anya trailed after her, giving each other lovey dovey looks.

Buffy was dying to leave the house. It was hell being here with Spike and hiding all her feelings for him. Even worse, she knew that Spike could sense that she wanted him especially with those sexy looks he was throwing at her.

"Alone at last," he whispered, sweeping in close to her and tracing his fingers down her arm.

"No. Not alone," Buffy said weakly. _Bad Buffy_. _Succumbing to his touch._

"Just exactly what nasties are in whispering in your mind? You know you love doing this… you love getting away with it when your friends are right in the other room."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Oh please! You so need to get over yourself." She turned around and placed her index finger on his chest. "And for your information, you're not getting any of me tonight."

"Care to test that theory?"

"No."

"Afraid?"

"You wish!"

He laughed. "You're adorable."

Buffy blushed, staring into his deep blue eyes. The things he said, the way he made her feel… it was so perfect. With Spike it was as if she could let go of all her insecurities and just be free. For a moment she could be away from the world. And he was the only one who could make her smile. She couldn't believe that out of all people he was the one that made her happy.

"And you," Buffy replied, giving him a naughty smile. "Are an ugly, fat jackass."

"What? You didn't just say that!"

"I just did. And I meant it too."

He growled and leaped for her, but she managed to stay out of his grasp. Then the two of them started running around the living room, like little kids playing tag. Finally, Spike pushed her onto the floor and landed on top of her.

"Let me go!"

"Never."

"Okay fine. You're sexy. Happy now?"

He gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, and Buffy found her heartbeat racing even more. She closed her eyes.

"So about our moment alone…" Spike whispered.

Buffy smiled. "Not even in your dreams."

The doorbell rang.

"Where do you think you're going?" Spike asked with a disappointed look on his face as she got up.

"Getting the door, you idiot."

"You like this, don't you?" Spike asked, also getting up from the floor. "Hiding the truth."

Buffy turned back around. "That's not true," she said softly. "I hate it."

"Then tell them."

"No."

Buffy gasped as he pushed her against the door, placed his hands on either side of her, and kissed her hard on the mouth.

"Do you love me?" he murmured in her ear.

She looked up at him with sincere eyes. Then she slipped her left hand towards the doorknob.

"Sometimes," Buffy confessed.

Surprised, Spike finally moved away from her to let her answer the door.

Even if it wasn't completely what he wanted to hear, it was definitely more than he expected to hear.

Buffy gave him one last smile before opening the door to let Willow and Tara in. One last smile until she would have to start pretending again. Pretending that she hadn't just been kissing him. Pretending that she hadn't just half confessed that she was falling in love with him.

* * *

Aww how sweet. V-day tomorrow! Wows. And yessum I'll be posting a chapter. :wink wink: wonder what it will be about?


	6. Interlude

**Interlude**

A/N: Hey guys! This just a short interlude that I wrote due to the deletion of my original Author's Note. Originally my A/N I wrote on V-day took up Chapter 6, but it got deleted... so I decided to write this. In addition this I am also adding a chapter seven at the same time. Thanks for reading!

By the way, thank you SOOO much for the comments! I felt so much better! You guys truly can brighten up my day! And also I'm sorry it took so long to update!

* * *

**"Hey," Buffy greeted Tara and Willow.**

**"Hey, Buffy," Willow said brightly. She and Tara both stepped in, whispering and giggling to each other.**

**"Happy Valentine's Day," Tara said.**

**"You two seem really happy."**

**Tara and Willow shared a smile. "Yeah, we are."**

**"Well at least someone's happy," Spike's voice said from behind Buffy. She almost jumped.**

**"Uh hey Spike," Willow said awkwardly. "How's the unlife treating you?"**

**"Let's see. I can't bite, I can't fight humans, and I live off of nasty pig's blood. It's pretty crappy," Spike replied.**

**"Well being a human isn't great either," Willow sighed. "It has its downs.At leastyou're immortal—"**

**"Which is a pain in the ass."**

**Willow nodded. "Yeah, true."**

**"Are you actually having a conversation?" Buffy said unbelievably.**

**"It's not that unusual," Tara said with a small smile on her face. "You have plenty of conversations with Spike, don't you? Well… actually your conversations are less with words and more with the… you know."**

**Buffy gaped at her. "What? No-no… that's not true."**

**"You know it is," Spike said from beside her. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to him, causing her to let out a small gasp.**

**"Spike—"**

**But before the next words could come out of her mouth, he placed his mouth over his and kissed her sweetly. At first she stared at him with open eyes, stunned that he was doing this in front of her friends. Well, no, it was just like Spike to do something like this. But why had Tara let slip and… her thoughts started fading away as the kiss became more intense.**

**Blushing, Buffy pulled away from him and smiled shyly at the ground.**

**"So you two…" Willow said, with a very shocked look on her face.**

**Spike put his arm around Buffy and squeezed her tight. "We might as well come clean, right Slayer?"**

**Buffy grinned. "Spike and I are a thing."**

**"Oh," Willow said uncertainly. "Um… I'm happy for you."**

**Buffy was practically glowing. "Isn't it amazing? He's everything I ever wanted," she sighed with content, staring up into the blueness of his eyes.**

"Buffy? Buffy! Buffy, hello, are you listening to me?"

Buffy blinked and stared at Dawn, who was yelling in her face.

"Huh?"

"You were like gazing off into nothing. Aren't you going to let Willow and Tara in?"

Buffy realized her hand had never turned the knob of the door.

"Oh. Oops." She glanced briefly at Spike, who was now lounging on the living room couch.

He gave her a devilish grin. "Daydreaming about me?" he mouthed.

_Arghh Buff, you've got to stop daydreaming incredibly stupid scenes._

* * *

Hehe just in case you were confused... the text in bold is Buffy's daydreamy thoughts. I know some of my writing is severly not making sense... but hehe... just ignore that. 


	7. The Grande Finale

**Chapter Seven  
The Grand Finale**

Suddenly there was a bright flash of lightning and a loud thunderclap following close after. Dawn screamed and dropped her Coca-Cola can to the floor. The liquid spilled and left an expanding dark spot on the carpet. All of the gang quickly gathered together in the living room and stared outside.

"No rain," Tara commented. "Definitely the signs of a spell."

"Spell? Oh crap," Buffy muttered.

"And it's right above the house," Willow said.

"I thought it was supposed to be a friendly spell." Dawn clamped her hands over her ears again when thunder sounded again. "This is not fun."

But as quickly as it had come, it went away.

"Well Tara and I just got here, must mean the spell is in effect," Willow said.

"So we can't leave the house…" Xander started.

"Until our hearts are revealed," Anya finished for him.

Silence.

Spike let out a loud laugh. "Ha! This is bloody brilliant." He winked at Buffy.

"Okay. Okay," Buffy said loudly. "Fine. If that's the way magic wants to have it. Fine. Okay this is my heart. I… um… I… I—"

"It's no use, Buffy," Tara said to her. "O-only your true heart will unlock the spell."

"Oh."

All of a sudden, Buffy's eyes burned bright blue for a moment. A sudden whoosh went through her body, and she felt a sensational feeling of… Spike? Oh she wanted him so bad. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them, they were normal again. She looked around nervously. Nobody seemed to notice that anything had happened to her. Everyone was still talking and laughing. She sighed of relief. Must have been just a temporary—

"No!" Buffy yelled, and she fell back against the wall. She felt dizzy, sick almost. The room was spinning before her, and all she could think about was Spike. If she didn't get to Spike soon she wouldn't be able to contain it any longer. Where was the damn vampire anyway?

"Buffy? Are you okay?" she heard a voice say, but it sounded so far away…

Spike. Spike! SPIKE! Her mind was screaming at her. She hadn't noticed her voice was screaming the exact same thing.

"What, Slayer?" she heard him yell back at her.

Unaware of the rest of the room, Buffy ran to him, wrapped her arms around his neck and started to kiss him passionately on his soft, kissable lips. She felt him quickly return it with his insatiable touch, his hands pulling her closer to him. She let her passion run wild, and every single desire inside of her was burning like wild flames in her heart. Each moment pulled her closer to pure ecstasy, as if her heart was trying to surface and spill out the truth.

Much to her disappointment, Xander then pulled Spike aside and punched him on the face.

"Ow!" Spike yelled and instinctively punched Xander back.

"Ow!" both Xander and Spike screamed at the same time.

Spike clutched his forehead and groaned. "Damn it, what was that for?" he yelled at Xander.

"Making that horrible, gross move on Buffy! I can't believe you did that you son of a—"

"If you didn't see with those beady eyes of yours, she's the one who made the move on me! Stupid git!"

"I told you your eyes were beady," Anya suddenly added.

"Shut up!" Xander turned around and yelled at her.

Anya stared at him with wide eyes. "Xander…" she said in a surprised but hurt voice.

"Sorry…" he mumbled. "I didn't mean…"

Spike glared at him. "You know what? You are one bleeding idiot. You want answers? Why don't you ask her yourself?"

"Spike, stop it," Buffy said through gritted teeth.

"No, I'm through with this. All you've ever done is play me. You sleep with me, then after you're through using me, you run off. And then you come back expecting me to let you in again. I'm not doing it anymore, Buffy."

Everything went silent.

"I-I don't…" Buffy's face was burning bright red. She looked up at all the faces staring at her with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Sorry," Spike murmured. "That was… I didn't mean to. I don't know why I got so angry." He moved closer to her, but she stepped back. "Buffy?"

"Get out," she said shakily.

"What?"

"Get out!" she screamed and punched him across the room. He slammed against the wall with full force and slumped onto the ground.

"Bugger this," Spike muttered angrily, pushing himself up against the wall. "You know what? You hate yourself. And you take it all out on me."

"Get out," she said again, trying hard not to cry. "Please."

"But Buffy, I mean it when I say I love you—" at that moment, his eyes burned bright blue for a short second.

"No! No you don't. You could never understand what love is. And you can't love someone who will never love you back."

He stared at her long and hard, and then he opened the door and left, slamming the door behind him. The moment he left, the emptiness that had been growing inside of her expanded into every inch of her body.

"Buffy… what's going on?" Dawn asked in a quiet voice.

"I'm sure it was nothing," Tara spoke up, trying to defend Buffy. "The spell probably went wonky. That's all."

"No," Buffy said softly. "You don't have to say anything, Tara." She took in a deep breath. "He's telling the truth."

"But Buffy—" Willow started.

"I've… I've been sleeping with him. I've been sleeping with Spike."

Buffy didn't know how they were going to react. She just stared at the floor, waiting for the scolds and yells to be over. But nothing happened. And the uncomfortable silence made her wish that they really were yelling at her.

"Oh," Dawn finally said.

"I knew it! I knew something was going between you two!" Anya exclaimed. "All that sexual tension. There just had to be—"

"No…" Xander mumbled, looking disgusted. His eyes traveled from the wall to the ground to everything but Buffy. "I don't want to know this… This is crazy. Buffy, what the hell were you—"

"I was hurting, okay?" she said.

"You could have come to us," Willow said softly.

"We can't all blame Buffy," Tara spoke up. "We all have faults in this. W-we're the ones who brought her back."

"Still, you could've told us what you were going through," Xander said.

"No! I couldn't! You wouldn't understand."

"And he would?" Xander finally met Buffy's gaze. "You went to him, instead of your own best friends?"

"Yes, Xander. You know what? I did. I went to him instead. Because my best friends, the ones who ripped me out of heaven and put me into hell, would never understand what I'm going through."

"We would like to," Willow said. "You could've told us."

"You didn't want to know."

There came that uncomfortable silence again.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," said Dawn in a soft voice.

Then suddenly everybody's eyes burned the same blue that Spike and Buffy's had earlier. It was as if all the hidden burden they had carried in their hearts was slowly being lifted. The barriers between them were disappearing, and the truth was leaking out.

* * *

Buffy buried her face in her hands, fresh tears dripping off her chin. Her vision was blurred, and her head was spinning. She had never felt so alone or miserable in her life. And this time there was no Spike to catch her fall.

And it was her fault.

Buffy sighed and collapsed on the living room couch, staring at the remains of the party. Popcorn was thrown all over the floor, streamers were scattered over the furniture, and there was a dark stain on the carpet where Dawn had spilled Coke.

She closed her eyes, trying hard not to think about Spike. Anything, anything at all. Just not Spike. Thinking about him only made her whole body hurt.

"Buffy?" a soft voice said.

Buffy opened her eyes and saw Dawn looking at her.

"Um, hey."

"Hey."

"Everyone's gone."

"Yeah I kind of noticed."

"Are you okay?"

Buffy didn't reply.

"So that stuff with Spike…"

"Can we not—" Buffy started sharply. Then she stopped and continued in a softer voice, "Can we not talk about that right now?"

"Um, okay." Dawn sat down next to her, and the two sisters sat in silence for a few minutes.

Buffy kept on staring at the stain on the carpet. It was taunting her. It was sticking out its tongue and taunting her.

"I'm sorry," Dawn's voice said beside her.

Buffy turned her head. "For what?"

"The spell. Everything. I ruined everything."

"No you didn't. Besides, we all needed a little truth anyway. Even if it was bad, horrible truth. We needed it. We can't live our lives with lies."

Dawn sighed. "I always screw up."

"You think you screwed up? I'm the one who's seriously screwed up."

"Well tell you the truth," Dawn said. "I think you and Spike are perfect for each other."

"You're kidding, right?"

Dawn shook her head. "He loves you."

Buffy's heart pounded. "He does," she said softly. It was the truth. Spike did love her no matter what she tried to tell herself. And she felt for him too. All she could see, hear, touch, feel, and taste was Spike. His blue eyes gazing at her, his voice whispering soft words in her ear, his teasing British accent making her weak, his cold muscular body against her own, and that comforting touch… She couldn't think about anything except Spike. The way he put the pieces back together when she felt broken inside, the way he would hold her and make her feel safe, the way he would fill the void of emptiness, and the way he would take away the deadness in her heart. And how much she had just hurt him. How could she do that? How could she put so much hate on him when he was the one who made her feel complete?

"Dawn, I think I just realized something," she said. She stood up and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Dawn asked her.

"To find Spike." Buffy opened the door and started to walk out, when suddenly an invisible force pushed her back inside. Confused, Buffy tried going out again, but a fierce wind blew her back in. She was thrown against the floor.

"Buffy! Are you okay?" Dawn rushed to her side.

She stood up and rubbed the back of her head. "Ow, that hurt."

"Oh…"

Buffy looked at her sister. "Oh what?"

"I think it's the spell. It's still on."

"Huh?"

"The heart revealing spell. I guess you're heart hasn't been completely revealed yet."

Buffy stared at her sister for a long time, trying to comprehend what Dawn had just said. Then maybe it was true. Maybe her heart was trying to tell her that Spike was really the one. How could he be though? He was a vampire with a dark past that had tried to kill her a number of times. Then again, she kind of had a thing for that type. She let out a soft sigh.

How did things come to this?

How was it that the one person she was supposed to be against, was the person she was starting to love and admire? He was the one haunting her dreams every night. And she had tried so hard to make these feelings stop, but he wouldn't leave her thoughts. And she didn't want him to go. She liked the way he made her feel, and she never wanted it to go away.

After all that happened tonight, maybe it all concluded to the fact that… "I love him too," Buffy couldn't catch herself before the words slipped out.

Dawn shrieked. "Really? That's awesome! And I bet you can walk out that door now."

Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister and then headed towards the door once more. But before she reached for the doorknob, she turned back to Dawn. "You aren't freaked?"

Dawn laughed. "Of course I'm freaked! But… you two are just perfect for each other. Plus Spike is such a hunk of hotness. I'm jealous."

Buffy smiled. Then she stepped out onto the porch, and this time nothing was pushing her back.

Then it was true.

With that, she ran outside, hoping she would still find Spike before sunrise.

She could feel all the strength coming to her as she ran her hardest to find her vampire lover. And each step made her want him more, made her yearn for his affection. She needed him more than she had ever needed anybody before. He was the only one she could connect with, and he was the only one who understood her on such a high level.

"Spike…"

She softly called his name as she saw him leaning against a tree.

He turned around and gave her a surprised look. She had said his name with such tenderness, and with just a note of fear. For once she had a look in her eye that made her seem almost vulnerable. "Buffy."

"I'm sorry," she said, barely above a whisper.

For a moment, the two of them just stared at each other.

"Didn't think you'd be the one coming after me," he said with a light laugh.

"Well here I am," she said smiling.

"Don't see why. There's nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes there is," she choked on her on voice, soft tears spilling down her face. "I was so horrible…"

"Not like you'd care, but I'm not hurt… not too much physically anyway. But on the emotional part, got to admit it stung a little." He laughed coldly. "What does it matter? It's not like you care."

"I lied, Spike."

Rain started to fall from the sky.

He tried not to show it, but there was a look of interest in his eye.

"I… I wasn't being honest when I said all those things to you. I guess my heart was only partially revealed… I didn't get to tell you the rest."

"Really?" Spike managed to keep his sarcasm.

"I wasn't allowed to walk out that door until I finally said it. My hearts been longing to tell me forever, but I just haven't been listening."

Drops of rain trickled down her face, becoming mixed with her tears. The water dripped off her body and down to the soft, green grass. And still she stood there, gazing at him. The air was slightly cold, but the warmth inside of her was incomparable. She was so full of comfort inside that everything else didn't matter. And even if hell happened right that moment, it wouldn't stop her from saying the words.

"I love you, Spike."

Spike stared at the woman he loved. She looked more beautiful than ever, with soft rain dripping down her body. All he could do was run to her and lift her up into the air in the midst of the pouring rain. She wrapped her legs around his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck. Holding tightly to him, she then leant down to kiss him.

She ran one hand down the side of his face. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Buffy whispered. She smiled at him and gave him another sweet kiss on the lips.

_Thank you, Dawn._

* * *

So what do you think? I hope you liked it... I'm really not sure if I liked it myself. It was very very angsty. Lols. It was supposed to be a fluffy story, but nothing in the sixth season can really be fluffy.

There's still one more chapter... so don't stop reading now!


	8. Warm Night In

**Chapter Eight  
Warm Night In**

"Have you finished your homework?" Buffy asked Dawn, soaping the dishes in the sink.

"Yes," Dawn said impatiently, standing aside with her arms crossed.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. You can help me with the dishes."

"What?" Dawn exclaimed. "That's not fair! You're only saying that because you can't wait to do God knows what with your new boyfriend."

Buffy shrugged and started rinsing. "Fine. Go to the Bronze. Have fun. Just don't call on me when some demon eats you."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "I swear, ever since you and Spike have come out clean, you've been unreasonably happy."

Just then the doorbell rang. "Oh! That's Spike," Buffy said excitedly. She quickly dried her hands and went to answer the door. Dawn rolled her eyes and then slowly followed her sister to the door.

There stood Spike on the porch, looking just as sexy as ever. There was a bouquet of roses in one hand, and a box of chocolates in the other. He grinned when he saw Buffy and leant down to kiss her quickly on the lips.

"What's all this?" Buffy asked, taking the flowers and the chocolate.

He shrugged. "What? A vampire can't get something for his Slayer?"

She beamed. Setting the gifts aside, she wrapped her arms around him and they shared a long kiss.

"Um hello. Standing right here," Dawn said. Even then, the two didn't break apart. "I'm going to the Bronze!" Dawn yelled really loud. Just as she was about to slip by them, Buffy pulled away from Spike and grabbed her by the wrist.

"No you're not," Buffy said firmly. Spike's hands were on her waist, and it was hard for her to breathe at the moment. She could just imagine all the things they could do without Dawn in the house… she shook her head and then tried to focus on sisterly thoughts. "You can't. It's late, and there's no way you're going alone."

"Buffy, it's Friday night! What do you expect me to do? Sit in my room and listen to you two all night?"

Buffy blushed at this, and she could feel Spike's hands tighten around her waist. "Fine. Go with Janice or somebody. Just be careful. And take my cell phone. You can call me if you get into any trouble."

"Oh I'll be fine. I don't want to call and interrupt anything… intimate," Dawn said, a teasing smile on her face.

"She's right you know. I have a lot planned for tonight," Spike said to Buffy while kissing her softly on the neck.

Buffy gazed at him incredulously. How did he make her feel so weak and strong at the same time?

Dawn rolled her eyes at the lovesick couple. "Bye. Have fun." Before Buffy could open her mouth, Dawn added, "Yes I'll be careful! Don't worry about me. You two just have a nice, alone night." Grinning, she slipped outside and closed the door behind her.

"What did she mean by that?" Buffy exclaimed. "I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have let her go. What if something happens? I mean she's only fifteen—"

Suddenly Spike grabbed her and gave her a hard kiss on the lips. Pushing her against the wall, he trapped her body tightly with his and planted kisses down her neck. She gasped and ran her hands through his soft blonde hair, cherishing each moment his lips met her skin. Then in a swift movement, he pulled her away from the wall and kissed her again with sweet intensity, as if he could never get enough of her taste. Buffy weakly tried to grab something to hold onto as the two struggled up the stairs. But all her hands found was Spike's strong body, and it seemed to take forever just to walk up the staircase.

She wanted to treasure all of it. Every kiss, every touch, every time he whispered that he loved her. And the moment they got to the bed, she knew this time it was for real. And she would be able to say she loved him back.

* * *

"Wow," Buffy said breathlessly.

"Yeah."

"That was... wow."

Under the covers, Spike's arm was wrapped comfortably around Buffy's waist. She closed her eyes in content. It couldn't get muchbetter than this. But just as her thoughts were slipping into sweet dreams,she could feel Spike's body stiffen next to her.

"You're scared, aren't you?" she asked him.

"Oh please. I'm the big bad. I bloody don't get scared."

"Uh huh."

"Well... you aren't going to kick me in the face and then leave, are you?"

Buffy turned to face him. "I gave you my heart, Spike," she said with complete sincerity. "And I'm not expecting to get it back anytime soon."

"You mean that?"

She smiled. "Yes, dummy."

"I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you too."

_Ring! _The telephone startled both of them. Buffy groaned and reached for the phone on her nightstand. "Hello?" she said irritably into it, angry that someone had ruined such a perfect moment.

"Hey Buff," It was Xander.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"What do you mean what am I doing?"

"I'm kind of busy right now," Buffy said in a frustrated voice.

"Oh well I was just calling to see if we're okay. I'd do it in person, but now I'm terrified that I'll catch you kissing Captain Peroxide or something."

Buffy laughed nervously. "Oh, well, don't worry about it."

"Okay," Xander said on the other end. "I love you, you know that? I just care about you and don't want to see you get hurt."

"Xander, you've always been there for me, and you'll always be my best friend."

"Xander? Why is that git calling you?" Spike said angrily. He grabbed the phone. "Buffy and I are in the middle of something. Sod off!" Then he clicked the phone off and handed it back to Buffy.

She stared at him for a long time and then started cracking up. "Wow, Xander is not going to take that well."

"He'll deal. Right now I want you all to myself with no more bloody interruptions."

"You evil, greedy vampire!"

"But you know you love me."

She giggled. "I don't know about that."

"What? You're kidding, right?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know."

"And you think I'm evil?"

She rolled her eyes and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. "Spike, of course I'm kidding. You think I went through all this Valentine's Day crap to end up denying my feelings? If I've learned anything from all of this, it's that I have to listen to my heart."

"And what exactly is that heart of yours saying?"

"I love you, Spike." Buffy whispered.

Letting out a soft growl, Spike pulled her close to him and hungrily kissed her warm lips. She kissed him back with full force, pulling his body close to hers.

With that, they disappeared into love and passion underneath the covers.

* * *

Review please!

Hmm I don't know. Should I write a sequel? Tell you what, go view my website (check my profile for link) sign the guestbook, and tell me what you think! Then maybe I'll write a sequel. Haha I'm so cruel.

Thank you to all the readers who left such amazing comments! You all rock!

spikes-slayer29590, lanakael, Spike's Girl, Xtremely-Canadian, Luna Ash, darkwillow7, xx-Tsumi-Chan-xx, Freezyboncoolipants, funkydevil206, Soulful-Spikes-True-Love, Slayergirl1212, Bridge, InvisibleA, Aimee, sPiKe-RoX07, Amandamanda3, spuffy404, Amanda, ayurh, Lindsay, Ape18, pixiecorn, artimis-sandstorm, Mara, thea howes, bella-lover, Em-958, Mel, i luv spike, Lauren, Claire C. Griffon, OrliBloomingGurl, RoleModelGirlie, Slayergirl1212, Syddie, HuanLe, D.K., Spikelvr, SlaYeRGiRLkaL, mistude, hmm..., Marla, Dstar504, AJsHellCat, spikette, Carrie, williamtheinsane, BunnyKat, axlgroupie91, Pulchra Nex, Ultrawoman, Shadowhawke, AriTwist, Culf, GoldenAngl99, Why can't they get 2gether, soccergirl2002uk, Spuffy4ever2, kim

And thanks soo much for the sweet comments on my crappy V-day! I love you guys!

I wish I could give a personal shoutout to everyone, because all of you are just awesome. But here are a few readers who really made my day:

CrazymySpike – thanks for all the comments and opinions. Haha I know I love Xander too but he just gets so annoying when it comes to Buffy and Spike's relationship.  
spuffy4eva – hey! you are awesome! your comments always made me so happy :) thank you so very much!  
AnononA – THANK YOU! Yay! That last comment made me glow withjoy :D hehe.

Well, that's the end. And the very first fic I've finished. Haha. Again, millions of thanks!

Julia


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